Here are a few of the emails that you scallywags have recently sent in:
Dear Dr.OOl,
I commute to work every day on the train, whiling away the boring journey by doing a crossword in my daily paper. The other day, I was musing on a tricky clue when a busty young blonde woman entered my compartment and sat down on the opposite seat.
I am 38 and she was 22. She was wearing a really sexy short skirt and I couldnt help looking at her over my newspaper.
Imagine my excitement when she uncrossed her legs and I realised she was wearing stockings and no knickers. "Do you like what you see?" she said. "Perhaps you'd like to take a closer look." Needless to say, I didnt need asking twice!
I was soon stripped naked, having a steamy clinch with this horny nymphomaniac as the train rattled through the sleepy suburbs. The clue was 8 down; "Short commercial break is without purpose" and I had "blank-D-blank-I-blank-blank". Do you have any idea what the answer might have been?
Colin Bigcock.
Dr.OOl (God's favourite Doctor) says: The answer will have been "ADRIFT". "Ad" is the short commercial break and according to Nurse Ardon's dictionary, one of the meanings of adrift is "without purpose".
Dear Dr.OOl,
I saw a sign recently that read "Church May Just Surprise You".
They were right. I went along and it was far more tedious than I had imagined.
Farrah Foreskin.
Dr.OOl (God's favourite Doctor) says: Repent your sins !
Dear Dr.OOl,
The other day I was driving through town in my hummer. Its the big one, not the little pussy one that most people buy and I was considering customising it to the max with some incredibly huge rims and boots. Anyway, when I stopped at a set of traffic lights, four gorgeous busty blonde women climbed in.
I am 34 and all the girls were 19. This happens to me on a regular basis since I signed up for your affiliate program (a snip at £999 per year) entitled "Big Boobs Are Best", so I wasnt really surprised.
As usual, the conversation very quickly turned sexual, so I pulled up next to the Salvation Army offices. Two of them immediately began stroking my thigh. One thing led to another, and before long we were all completely naked, except for the stockings and suspenders that the girls were wearing. I was having sex with two of them whilst the other two performed a lesbian show on each other. But, who do you think is the best UK supplier of rims for my ride?
Aaron Bigcar.
Dr.OOl (God's favourite Doctor) says: I think Halfords is a given 'no', considering your choice of vehicle. Start with PimpMyWheels.com, they offer a huge selection of rims at excellent prices, ask for 'Carl OOl', hes big in this game, quoting discount code 'Dr.OOl is the man ... westside ... east coast'.
Dear Dr.OOl,
I reckon that we cant find the missing link because at some time in the future, someone will invent time travel, go back in time and fuck a monkey.
I bet these so called scientists havent thought of that one.
Clevis B'Stard.
Dr.OOl (God's favourite Doctor) says: Stick to window-licking.
Big Chicks and bOObs - Click here for the latest posts by Dr.OOl.
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fuckin brilliant
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