Featured Celebrity: Paris Hilton

Dr.OOl's Examination: Sticklike sex tape stuper-star (Adj: Super but stupid)Paris Hilton claims she has only had 'a couple' of sexual partners. No real surprise looking at her emaciated state. Reminds me of an anorexic pipecleaner. Ive seen more meat on a vegitarians meat platter. She needs to get some weight on her asap. Then, Im sure, she'll have a few more sexual partners ... if shes lucky.

Dr.OOl Prescribes: Paris isnt getting any action between the sheets, so no negative burning of calories there. The only other thing that she must be doing is walking her dog too much. This has to stop immediately before she suffers major health problems. Suggest you purchase Dr.OOl's patented 'The Dr.OOl Dynamic Dog Walking Device' (pictured below). This will allow you to sit down twice per day (recommended 5 times) and enjoy a few McDrOOl burgers with fries (large) washed down with a litre of Bacardi followed by a tub of Ben and Jerry's (pick your own flavour).

Please Note: Certain animal's identities have been protected in todays surgery to save them from embarrassment. No animals were harmed in making this examination.

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